Where is it written that everyone eventually finds that rose-covered, smoothly defined path that leads to understanding? I've never found it, but like everyone else, I fruitlessly believe in it's existence. The ultimate dream many of us chase is that life is at some point fair. Work hard, be honest with yourself and others, love your neighbor, forgive others when they hurt you, and at least make an effort to lead a good life and God will ultimately reward you. Some people feel that compensation is delayed until the Hereafter, but some believe in earthly rewards as well.
April 10, 1978, was a day that shook my belief in earthly rewards. My wife and I received what we believed was a part of our earthly reward when we were blessed with the birth of twin girls, Jennifer and Jessica. A little more than one year later, our joy began to fade to other emotions as we were given the dire prognosis for their future. As we learned they were severely mentally retarded, the joy was replaced by a myriad of other emotions, first anxiety, then changing rapid-fire to anger, defiance, and questioning, "Why Me?". I felt about like a kid who has just lost his kite.
One source of strength for me has been watching my wife care for the girls as she does everything in her power to see that they have the happiest and most meaningful lives they can. She has constantly given the fullest measure of love that she has and as I watch this interaction between mother and children I am consistently uplifted. She and countless other mothers of special-needs children demonstrate daily the purity of their love as they provide the best care they can for their loved ones.
So how does my experience relate to the meaning of life? If the meaning of life were only defined by the sum of one's accomplishments, then our girls' lives totaled nothing. Yet if their lives are measured by how much they touched and changed those around them, then they truly had an exceptional life. The only thing they could do was give unconditional love to everyone they came in contact with.
The question still lingers though as to why they were born into a world which seemed to hold such limited options for them. It may have been to give a self-absorbed person, such as myself, a light to illuminate my path -- a light that leads one to first begin experiencing and then granting unconditional love to others. At any rate, one cannot afford to dwell on negatives or wallow in self-pity very long. You can choose to grieve for the children you thought you would have or love the ones you do have.
